Gratitude As a Bargaining Chip

Wow, I've let time fly by and I am so glad that I have seen most of you friends since my last post, or you might really think something awful happened! Turns out , that tumor was just a very large bother and, other than the fact that I still cannot do stomach crunches,  (don't hate me!) all is fabulous.

It is interesting how a health scare accelerates accomplishing things that should have already been done - like preparing for what Will happen, someday. Update will and medical directives, find all important paperwork, and make sure everyone knows how much you love them.  I also spent time irritated with myself about time wasted and  making promises that, when -not IF- recovered, I would mindfully note, every day, all the things for which I have reason to be grateful. (I also gave up Diet Coke , as if God was just waiting for that bargaining chip to determine outcome; but, at least I felt as if I had some influence over my destiny...)

And what a gift that promise is for my life! Starting (most) mornings slowly with 20 minutes or so of reading and gratitude are an amazing way to begin the day. Asking, out loud, for God's strength to be who He wants me to be, are invaluable. Proof? Rushed days when I skip those few minutes are just not right. Icky. Stressful. God doesn't need that time. I  do. You might want to try it yourself. And, definately, don't wait for a real scare to tell those you love how much they mean to they mean to you.

www.susanthetfordpartners.com

Attitude of Gratitude

As I write this post, the past week has been one of waiting for news that will be life changing.  I have run the emotional gamut of numbness, resolution, fear, hope, determination, and waves of tears when least expected. I am sure all of these will continue regardless of the outcome. But, I am certainly praying for a tsunami of gratitude and relief.

It was in the midst of this turmoil and the day before  my future will be revealed that I read a post from Jim Rohn ( http://www.jimrohn.com/index.php?main_page=page&id=550 )   that is so meaningful that I had to re-post an excerpt. Please forgive me  (especially Mr Rohn) if I am violating rules of Social Media Etiquette, but I certainly could not do his words justice by paraphrasing...

"...As the wheel of life continues its constant turning, all human emotions appear, disappear, and appear once again.

A major challenge faced by us all is that we must learn to experience the changing of life's cycles without being changed by them; to make a constant and conscious effort to improve ourselves in the face of changing circumstances.

That is why I believe in the power and value of attitude.... it is our natural destiny to grow, to succeed, to prosper, and to find happiness while we are here.

By our attitude, we decide to read, or not to read. By our attitude, we decide to try or give up. By our attitude, we blame ourselves for our failure, or we blame others. Our attitude determines whether we tell the truth or lie, act or procrastinate, advance or recede, and by our own attitude we and we alone actually decide whether to succeed or fail."

Thank you, Mr Rohn for your words of wisdom . Regardless of tomorrow, I will do my very best to remember that attitude is everything;  God, my beloved children, family, and friends will lead me through whatever unfolds. And, my (good) attitude will continue to steer the rest of my life. Amen.

Are you using what you've got?

"Are you using what you've got?" That was the question my daily meditation asked me on one particular day last week. I found this really intriguing because I'd been focused on identifying (or should I say re-identifying) my key Strength Themes.  http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx )

I had taken the Strengths Test, developed by the Gallup folks, several years ago when I was Associate Publisher for a major book publishing firm and found it to be very insightful, as well as personally affirming. Let me explain why I like it so much. Rather than focusing on what type of personality you have, or identifying you as an extrovert or an introvert, or confirming what you're not so good at--this test identifies what your idiosyncrasies or your unique strengths are and then helps you put them to best use. An added benefit for me is that I gain real insight into myself and how I'm different. And, that my differences are...well, really cool. And, that is when it all starts to get fun. Who doesn't like finding out what makes them tick?

2006 was when I first took the test and then i took it again just a few weeks ago. As you may know,  I've made some major life changes, career-wise, so I didn't know what to expect in terms of how the results would differ. The authors of the test told me to expect one or two differences and I was eager to see my results. The online test takes about 30 minutes and the results are delivered to you immediately, which i love. What I found when i read my summary was quite dramatic--5 out of 5 of my Strength Themes were different--not one was the same!

I've been reflecting a lot on my new results and I've come to a couple of conclusions.  One, I've changed...the things that drove me then, don't drive me now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful and I'm proud of my prior success and what I've achieved. But now my life is very different. I'm very focused on crafting a life for myself that "matters" and creating my story--one with an incredible beginning, middle, and ending. I'm also more focused on helping others. Before, I was driven to please others--my boss, my CEO, my authors, my co-workers and even my staff. I think I found myself in a trap that was impossible to get out of. You see, I believe that sometimes we are forced to become our job description and when that happens our true self gets put on reserve, back-burnered, if you will. We don't mean to do that and in my case I felt conflicted a lot of the time. And this imbalance, this conflict leads to all kinds of stress, pressure, health problems, and potentially unhappiness and self-doubt.

So back to the question the meditation asked..."am I using what I've got"? It takes identifying what you've got to know if you're "using it" so take my advice and take the Strengths Finders 2.0 test. Learn more about your particular strengths and start to really focus on them. I believe when we learn how to be our true selves we gain confidence, we gain balance, and peace...and our true gifts are released. We are choosing rather than reacting or simply existing. When we become our try selves that's when we can "pour good into others". As a leader, a wife, a mom, a friend that's what I desire.

I've got a ways to go, but I know where I'm headed. So, I'm kicking into gear Strength #2 of mine which is "Strategic".  Yep, I've got a plan--strategics always have a plan and that's a good thing.  I'd love to talk to you about your particular strengths and compare notes about what you've learned. It's all part of the journey and it all has a purpose. Have a really great day--take care! LQ

Where Are My Flip-Flops?

On this Labor Day I am thankful for so many, many people and opportunities in my life. Quite possibly the biggest is my Network Marketing Business that has opened up Solutions for huge problems (retirement security, time freedom for family and fun to name just two) that my 25 year career never afforded. And, I  am really good at that career!

While able to build my own business in part time hours (alongside my full time job) the personal growth and achievement, the financial goals, and new friendships all add up to an amazing world of choices.

I get to choose what I want to pursue.  Best of all, there is nothing stopping me from reaching higher than I might have previously thought possible. The legacy wealth for my (not yet here) grandchildren is what spurs me to build it big. The America that my generation will leave  is not the country in which I was blessed to be born. My business will be their future.

Additionally, in the last 1 ½ yrs, I have had the opportunity to befriend some really wonderful people. From the 29 year old school teacher who has earned $1 million (annual, residual and growing) in 4 yrs, to the Attorney- cum- network marketer who wants to stop trading her family time and billable hours for dollars, we all have a story, a dream, and drive to succeed...whatever that looks to each individual.  Because we know that a rising tide raises all boats, working  with like minded entrepreneurs is such a fulfilling life!

And, I have "met" many while studying the Industry. Take the "Flip-Flop CEO's"- a Mother Daughter team that started their business together and are demonstrating that they were able to achieve the goals that they set out to get even while skeptical at first.  If you have not heard of them, check out this video about their story.

As CEO’s of their own business (who get to where flip flops to work every day), they are celebrating the fact that this Labor Day is “Flip Flop Appreciation Day” to celebrate those who are working towards and living their dreams in network marketing.

Whether you are considering , just starting out, or a big-time Flip Flop CEO, this Labor Day Weekend stand tall and be proud of where you are and what you are working towards.  You have already shown that you are  willing to go after what you want.  For that, you have earned the chance to celebrate!

Passenger or Conductor?

Don't you love a leisurely Sunday Morning where you can, for the only day of the week, slowly wake up, vegging between  sleep and moving - not quite sure what day it is or if you are even really awake? Me too.

Well, that didn't happen today.

A voice virtually screamed at me "are you a passenger or conductor?" That'll make you jump up fast...

It was a very real voice from the past in a strong German accent. And, I needed to hear it. Thank you, Helmut!

I grew up riding horses and had an amazing coach who often stayed with my family.  Helmut was someone I wanted to please; I admired, respected,  and feared him (a bit, truth be told)  As a teen his whole family lived  in a concentration camp until Hitler learned of his ability with horses; he alone was spared and pressed into service training military horses for the Gerrnans.

Helmut would often bark at us youngsters in his classes "are you a passenger or controlling  that horse?" as he ordered  us through the almost impossible (we thought)  feats - jump with no hands, the Shang-Hei cross (call me, too hard to explain) posting without stirrups for-ever! The point is, as a passenger on that horse, you go where the horse wants you  to go (and that is probably the barn,trees. or the ground. All happened,occasionally )  Helmut was determined to get us past our fear , out of our own way, and really excel.

OK Helmut.I get it!!

How many of us are passengers in our only life? We will get through it...and it is totally our choice of how we get there.  My business coach told me last week to write down everything I want in all areas of my life-faith, family, health,financials,business,team dynamics, love life, etc. Divide paper in half lengthwise with categories down the left margin,  The "do not want"in each category  column is far right side , then fix the "don't want" with a description of what I "do want"in each category ; then,  mark out the don'ts. A picture of what I do want for my whole life ( in categories) will materialize as a plan. 

I hadn't done it...until Helmut barked at me. Just because I didn't quite get what it would do for me. And, I am excited to tell you,  my plan is done (you DO NOT ignore Helmut) and I have a perfect vision of where I am going in all aspects of  my life. That left side of my sheets of paper spells it all out. Visualizing each aspect (now that I have time and monetary  freedom to be with my children,where are we going,when,how long? What does that beach house look like,How long will we stay ? How do we get there...you get the point) By focusing on what I do want, taking the time to figure out every aspect of what I want is half the battle. The plan is done. Now just focus.

I'll let you know how it goes as it all unfolds...I have even "seen" the man I will marry- full description.
He's awesome :)  And worth waiting for...

Truth is, I am going to live and going to die. And, I get to choose how I get there,who I team with in the journey, and the legacy I leave behind. Thank you Helmut, Momma and Daddy, and all the coaches I have for reminding me; we all  choose  our paths. I choose to conduct my  journey - never been  a passenger - and hit the ground trying occasionally.  The only failure is failure to try.

The Meaning of Friendship

I had a very interesting and long conversation with a former business colleague last week who challenged me to ask myself these questions:

 “How well do I know those who I call my friends?

 “What makes someone a friend?”

  “Am I a good friend to my friends?”

Sounds like basic stuff, right, but the more I thought about it—it was a bit disturbing to me. And, I knew I needed to revisit this in my life.  If you’ve ready my first blog about myself, then you already know I come from the corporate world.  I had lots of friends—friends I greeted in the morning, said goodbye to at the end of the day, friends I went to lunch with, hung out with on business travel trips. These were the people in my life that I considered my friends on a day-to-day basis.  And, why did I refer to them as my friends?  Well, let’s see—here goes: I saw them practically every day. Got asked out to lunch and dinner frequently. Called them when I was running late to work. Complained to them about other “friends” in the office. Congratulated them when they got a promotion. You get the drift, right? These are the people I called my friends for the most part.

 Remember Denny Crane on the tv show “Boston Legal”:

“People walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn’t have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or, at most, a third meeting. Birthday cards get passed around the office so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they have barely met. And everybody just loves everyone. As a result, when you tell someone you love someone today, it isn’t much heard.”

True friendship is like a bank account, one that accrues interest – you make a deposit, they make a deposit. Your account grows. True friends help us be our best selves. It takes hard work and commitment to be a friend. Sometimes we have to tell it like it is, and also hear it like it is. Friendship is built on trust, kindness, thoughtfulness, intimacy, burden-bearing, unconditional love. It isn’t competitive or mean. It’s about believing for someone when they can’t believe themselves. Holding each other up when we hurt and feel we cannot go on. It is patient and present. It is connected and engaged. It is cheering each other on in the small and the big victories in life. Knowing what is important to each other and being the respecter of wishes and dreams.

Who are your true friends? The ones you invest in and they in you? The ones you turn to in good times and bad? Name them right now—go ahead it’s not that easy.  Start with three. Now, as my friend challenged me to do last week….text those people this message and then see how long it takes them to answer you back. Treasure the response. 

[Friend: insert name here], I was just thinking about you and how much I cherish our friendship. I just wanted you to know. I love you, [your name]

(This is for you, Bob…thank you.) And, Susan...so nice to be more than just "work" friends. Love you girl!

Blessings,

Lori

Rejuvination

 Have you ever had a day that...

started about 8:00 am-planned to be a kind of quiet, easy going day where you get a lot accomplished that you'd been putting off-mostly at the desk-phone calls bill paying, business receipts recorded...quiet and satisfying ...

And then, all #$@% breaks loose? It is suddenly 6 pm. You are starving because you never thought about lunch, still trying to make those calls that got pushed aside, have a 6:30pm meeting and the traffic will not let you get there...You are cranky hungry (grabbed a handful of animal crackers before leaving the house but dropped in garage opening the door, juggling the phone and computer. Considered... you know the 5  second rule...)

Get to the meeting place on the minute of "on time". Relieved, won't be too late if really move, but have no idea where the "south corridor annex" is so use your powers of reasoning and head South!! Walk, walk, walk faster , frustrated. No one seems to have heard of the meeting or "south corridor annex"...Now 15 minutes late and still no clue.

So, you decide to just forget it. Go jog at the Y. Need to breathe. Then can't find the way out of the maze! OMG, what else!!  You actually start laughing because just all so silly. Find stairs-any stairs have to go somewhere else- and just start climbing; Anywhere has to lead somewhere...top of stairway, bust open  the door, and...

 

  ...find yourself standing in the middle of the aisle at the back of the Church

The  noise and craziness down stairs,of the day,of your mind is jolted by the calm,peace,solitude. Silence but the hum of AC and you feel like an intruder on something really beautiful that was not for you to see? But you want to?

No?

Well ,I hope you do sometime soon.That was my day Wednesday.

(Now,raised in the Catholic Church I instantly feel like an intruder and apologetic for the attitude and plain irreverence of my entrance,then realize...its just God and me here and he's been with me all day anyway.No hiding anything from Him!The noise and craziness of downstairs,of the day,of my mind is jolted into calm.There is a complete void of sensory overload)

The ending? After a minute of absently looking around at all I could see from a distance  (I'd always thought it an interesting church from the outside)  I chose a pew on the right (I never sit on the right in Church)

And,I just sat...

Air conditioning whir

street noises in the distance

occasional thud of a door downstairs in the maze

far off siren

bbrr,brr of insistent phone muffled in the cushion of the pew (took me a bit to realize what it was

And,when I did, instinctively reach for it-then suddenly stopped. Not now.I needed that peace  of nothing.It felt good -a bit rebellious-to decide,"not now."

And,I just sat observing-can't call it meditating or praying-just drinking in the peace. In big gulps.

You haven't had one of those days?

My wish for you is that you do.

The constant motion of doing it all, taking care of it all,finishing it all,being It all is draining! "All" will happen in good time. Take a moment everyday to just be still and breathe. Maybe "all" isn't even worthy of your time,but you have to stop to see it.

BTW...that Diet Coke I put in the freezer to get cold while I quickly changed clothes for the meeting? It exploded in the freezer! I'll spare  you that wish.

Susan

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