“How well do I know those who I call my
friends?
“What makes someone a friend?”
“Am I a good friend to my friends?”
Sounds like basic stuff,
right, but the more I thought about it—it was a bit disturbing to me. And, I
knew I needed to revisit this in my life.
If you’ve ready my first blog about myself, then you already know I come
from the corporate world. I had
lots of friends—friends I greeted in the morning, said goodbye to at the end of
the day, friends I went to lunch with, hung out with on business travel trips. These
were the people in my life that I considered my friends on a day-to-day
basis. And, why did I refer to
them as my friends? Well, let’s
see—here goes: I saw them practically every day. Got asked out to lunch and dinner frequently.
Called them when I was running late to work. Complained to them about other
“friends” in the office. Congratulated them when they got a promotion. You get
the drift, right? These are the people I called my friends for the most part.
Remember Denny Crane on the tv show “Boston Legal”:
“People walk around today
calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn’t have any real meaning
anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or,
at most, a third meeting. Birthday cards get passed around the office so
everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they have
barely met. And everybody just loves everyone. As a result, when you tell
someone you love someone today, it isn’t much heard.”
True friendship is like a bank account, one that accrues interest – you make a deposit, they
make a deposit. Your account grows. True friends help
us be our best selves. It takes hard work and commitment to be a friend.
Sometimes we have to tell it like it is, and also hear it like it is.
Friendship is built on trust, kindness, thoughtfulness, intimacy,
burden-bearing, unconditional love. It isn’t competitive or mean. It’s about
believing for someone when they can’t believe themselves. Holding each other up
when we hurt and feel we cannot go on. It is patient and present. It is connected
and engaged. It is cheering each other on in the small and the big victories in
life. Knowing what is important to each other and being the respecter of wishes
and dreams.
Who are your true friends?
The ones you invest in and they in you? The ones you turn to in good times and bad? Name them right now—go ahead it’s
not that easy. Start with three.
Now, as my friend challenged me to do last week….text those people this message
and then see how long it takes them to answer you back. Treasure the response.
[Friend: insert name
here], I was just thinking about you and how much I cherish our friendship. I
just wanted you to know. I love you, [your name]
(This is for you,
Bob…thank you.) And, Susan...so nice to be more than just "work" friends. Love you girl!
Blessings,
Lori
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